The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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