Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
