I heard we made out
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I love black thongs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize