also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
