I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
