Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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