The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
