White coat. Heels.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
