PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
