Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
