k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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