Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
