Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
