No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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