How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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