Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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