I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
