Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
