I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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