I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
