you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
