Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
