Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
