my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
