i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
