so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
