I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Panties = found
Randomize