It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
