grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
