Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
