can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
