it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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