he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
