Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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