sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Where is the hickey?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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