He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
