If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
