this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
