My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize