The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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