Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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