TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
