I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
