You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
