girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
