i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
