I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
