I think i peed on brittanys purse
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
