So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
