Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
