i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
