Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
