he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
