I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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