i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
