I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
